did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
