Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
