The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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