Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize