my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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