you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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