Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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