College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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