chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
