I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize