so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
