I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
