at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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