Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
