i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
