he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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