Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
