he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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