Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
