is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
