she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
