sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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