Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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