and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Farmville is her only friend.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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