i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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