Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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