matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
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