I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
