I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
