I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
