im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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