That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
