i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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