just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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