Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Still dying that you shit outside
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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