I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
