Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
