Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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