some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
