Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
