I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
