the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
