Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
