There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize