um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
