Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize