What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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