i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Less talking, more tequila
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
