I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
