he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
