He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
