I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You have to summon your inner elephant
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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