I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
