i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
