Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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