the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
