there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
