She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
