I can text with my tongue
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
