hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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