I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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