i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
