5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
