He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
