I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
