Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
