DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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