A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
