she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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