You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
